A Paradigm for Restoring Relationships Part I

Text: Rev 2:1-7

Introduction

You were lost. You were stumbling through life incomplete. You knew you desired love and oftentimes looked in the wrong places. Then, one day, this lovely woman appeared in your life, or this great guy sat beside you in biology class. Suddenly, you began to feel alive. Now you were looking forward to biology class or making that sales call to Dr. Zuckerman’s office. In fact, when you offered Doc the same drug sample packet three Mondays in a row, he commented, “To which of my staff have you taken a fancy?” 

These simple scenarios characterize how romantic relationships bud. Different relationships are watered and fed differently. One couple finds running a common point of contact. They start going to 5K races together. They enjoy a bit of competition. Some enjoy working through the finer restaurants and occasionally driving to Atlanta for a special night out for dinner. The more they connect, the greater the variety of their connecting points – reading, music, serving, studying, laughing, and other activities that make life enjoyable. Somewhere along the way, they profess love for one another and begin to explore marriage.

The Ephesians experienced something like this with Jesus. Paul writes to them and reminds them that they are lost – in fact, he tells them they are dead (2:1). Then Jesus showed up in their lives, “even when we were dead in our transgressions [he] made us alive…” (2:5). This was all of grace, Paul assured them. This relationship happened by the initiation of God (2:8-9), and it happened for a purpose (2:10). Then Paul says:

  • Remember what you were before this love affair with Jesus (2:11)
  • Remember that you were lost (2:12)
  • Remember that you have been brought near by the work of Christ (2:13)
  • Remember that he has worked in you to build you into a dwelling of God in the Spirit (2:15-22)

Every relationship a believer has is going to have opposition. We have opposition in our relationship with Jesus, and we have opposition in our marital relationships. We have two enemies. One dwells within us. The Bible refers to this as the flesh. This sinful bent stays with us until we experience I John 3:2 – “when we see him, we shall become as he is.” Our second enemy is Satan, who, though defeated on the cross, continues to conduct guerilla warfare by appealing to our self-centered flesh.

After three years of pastoral ministry in Ephesus, Paul calls together the elders to prepare them for the next phase of life. This morning, you might think of this as pastor at the seventh session of premarital counseling. He is about to launch this young couple bubbling with love into the world of marriage. So, Paul calls these elders together and reminds them how he taught and encourages them to understand and cultivate their relationship with Jesus. And he warns them of the opposition to come. 

It is opposition from within, the speaking of perverse things, and opposition from without in the form of savage wolves. So, it will be with this young couple.  Out of selfish desires (James 4:1-3) will cause perverse things.  Culture will provide enticing lies that will twist the meaning and purpose of marriage.  Culture will provide appealing temptations to satisfy those selfish desires.  The result will be a relationship, whether with Jesus or a mate, that will become at the least ragged around the edges and, at worst, terribly broken. This relationship of the Ephesian church with Jesus became ragged around the edges. Hence, Jesus writes this letter through the Apostle John, which becomes Jesus’ paradigm for relationship renewal. 

Jack and Jill moved to Jericho and joined the First Presbyterian (Baptist) Church of Jericho.  They also began attending the Lamplighters Sunday School class.  This was a class of young couples starting their families, hence, the Lamplighters.  Bill and Susie, whose parents lived a thousand miles away, invited Jack and Jill to spend Thanksgiving Day with them.  This began an intense friendship that turned sour.  

Jill would later refer to this friendship as a “summer romance.”  Both marriage relationships had grown cold, though both couples had only been married a few years.  As a result, Bill and Jill clicked.  It was not long before they emailed and met for lunch since they both worked in downtown Jericho in the same office building. Both were attorneys, and both were tennis players.  Neither of their mates knew much about the law nor played tennis.  It was not long before Bill and Jill’s friendship had deteriorated into an intimate friendship–though they kept it from becoming sexual out of their Christian convictions.

Not all readers.  I trust that this brief article will ring true to any reader in a fractured relationship.  I trust you will be challenged by the truth we consider together and apply it to your relationship before it ends in divorce. 

Our text (Rev. 2:1-7) is not a relationship text.  It sounds more like a theological text about ecclesiology.  However, as we consider this text, you will observe it as a relationship text.  It is about the relationship of the church to Christ.  It is about our relationship with Christ.  And it is a paradigm for restoring or reviving relationships. 

As you are likely aware, seven letters are addressed to seven churches in Asia Minor grouped in chapters two and three. Commentators have a variety of opinions regarding these seven churches.  It is outside of our purview to consider these options this morning.  Let me say that these seven churches were not all of the churches in Asia Minor.  The Spirit of God chose them because they represented problems with which churches would struggle throughout the church’s history.  One of these problems is relationships.  This is the problem that the letter to the church of Ephesus addresses. 

I like to read my wife’s magazine, Southern Living (LH), and Ladies Home Journal (LHJ).  They are rich with illustrations. One morning, I was reading LHJ while I ate breakfast, and a story illustrated our point regarding marriage.  Jane discovered an email from another woman in the church sent to her husband.  She confronted him, and he said, “It is nothing.  We are just friends.  We often talk when I take the children to church activities on Wednesday nights.  You know, you are seldom here to talk, and I like female companionship.” Several weeks later, her seven-year-old son told her that the lady Daddy talks with at church “helped me with my math homework after church.”  The article reported her reaction: “I was angry. I worked so hard.  I worked late so many times to have all we have as a family, and then he builds a relationship with another woman!”

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