How to Have A pleasant Evening at HomeAnd an Enjoyable Family Life

The following homework assigned to a counseling couple this week is helpful for just about every marriage.

Consider what, where, and how these assignments could nourish the flame of your relationship. Then, put them into practice and enjoy the results. Savor the outcomes and be ready to share them with someone in your sphere of influence to encourage them. Be sure to give God the glory/credit and perhaps precipitate an opportunity to share the gospel with those folks.

Assignments:

  1. On Sunday evenings, set up an alternating calendar for initiating a date night in the coming week. Rotating week-by-week, put your names on the calendar: Frank, Betty, Frank, and Betty for the remainder of the year. Remember, a date is at least two hours together without the children engaging in an activity that both enjoy. It does not necessarily require money. For example, walking in the sand may be a ten-minute drive to the beach. You might take two pieces of chocolate cake and a quarter of mild to enjoy.
  2. Keep a journal of irritation with your spouse this week to see where you need to change your expectations and/or have an honest, respectful conversation. Maybe it is his leaving his socks strewn on the floor every night or her habit of leaving the dirty dishes in the sink until it is full.
  3. Plan a regular schedule to read Scripture and pray. Use the Bible with headings and read and discuss what occurs under that heading. Ask these questions:
    1. What did this passage say/mean to those who heard it?
    2. What does it mean to us? What principle here can we use as a guideline for our lives today?
    3. What is prohibited in this passage, and why was it prohibited? Is it something that we should choose not to do?
  4. Have family meals often. Listen to the kids, pick up on cultural issues, and help them process them. You may not be able to achieve this every night but set up a workable schedule to achieve it as many nights as possible. For example, on Tuesday and Thursday, Mom must work a double shift at the hospital from 7 to 7. That leaves five other nights good to go.
  5. Have fun with your children daily.
  6. Here is an additional assignment.
    1. Research has demonstrated that five positive interactions are needed to override every negative interaction between people. So, be sure to be positive with one another. For example, my wife and I never (almost) leave the house without embracing and kissing goodbye and saying, “I love you.”
    2. Consciously look for and pray for the Lord to help to remember and develop diverse methods of extending positive interaction toward one another.
  7. Before you walk into the house at the end of the workday, pause in the car to leave the day’s burdens with the Lord. Your spouse has enough of their own. Ask the Lord for the energy and confidence to greet your spouse with a smile, a gentle kiss on the cheek, and something like, “It is so good to see you.”

Remember, having a godly family starts with knowing what God expects and the equipment He has given to achieve it. Next is incorporating this into your couple’s relationship so that you model the truth and its implementation in your life. And finally, follow the instructions of Deuteronomy 6:1-10, Ephesians 5:21-33, and companion passages to instruct and manage your children.

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