As Rush Limbaugh would say sarcasm and parody are lost on those of liberal persuasion. Perhaps this piece is a bit risky. But a bit of comic relief is good for the marriage relationship as well as other relationships. It contributes to a break in the tension of living in a fallen world. A bit of tongue-in-cheek provides at least two things for us. It helps to realize that often we take ourselves too seriously and it aids us in seeing that while we would never admit to owning these statements, we frequently think and behave as if they were true.
God has Alzheimer’s –
- He forgot his promise; he did not hear me or heal me
- He is confused about worship; is it contemporary or traditional
- He cannot remember who he is; a Spirit or an image
God is selfish—
- He wants all the glory; he does not believe in sharing it
- He wants all the control; he dubs himself a king
- He chooses some and not others; he plays favorites
God has an ego problem
- God claims to be omnipotent; kryptonite restricts him
- God claims to be omniscience; free will restricts him
- God claims to be omnipresent; space and time restrict him
God wants me to be happy therefore:
- Happiness is the supreme good
- Happiness is basis of ethical decisions
- Happiness is the goal of relationships
God is a deist—
- God started it; I’m on my own
- Prayer helps me; but does not access God
- Ethics are a social function; situational not an absolute framework
- The golden rule is good; it gives me social insurance
God is an American
- God is obligated to bless America
- America is the New Israel
God is a psychologist
- God prioritizes a good self-image
- God made sex so he desires for me to have good sex
- God expects me to love myself so I can love others
- God believes in redemption; it is called the 12 Step Program