Crossway recently published an article titled Five Myths of Parenting. Having my own list of ten myths of parenting, I read it with interest. Here is my list with comments.
- Homeschooling produces successful parenting—Over the years, I’ve seen many homeschool families in counseling and the grown children of homeschool families. Guess what? They have had the same issues as any other family.
- Cell phones and computers do not hinder successful parenting—if you buy that line, I have a Brooklyn bridge that I will sell you for an excellent deal.
- There is one right way to execute parenting—I’d like to believe this one. But, while there are biblically right components of child rearing, they can be improperly executed and not equal the one right way.
- There is no right way to execute parenting—the fact that there are many parents who raise well-functioning children negates this myth.
- Parenting successfully is impossible in many circumstances—Dr. Regina Benjamin, a U.S. Surgeon General, was raised by her divorced mother, Daphne. Her mother worked as a waitress and a maid to support the family, yet Regina earned an MD.
- Life is too demanding to execute successful parenting—no, it boils down to self-sacrifice and self-discipline.
- Parenting requires becoming a control freak—almost a sure way to not be a successful parent.
- Single parenting is crippled parenting—it can be, but this is where Christians have the advantage of a caring, supportive community.
- Blended parenting is always conflicted-parenting—many times it is, but it is not necessarily the case. Over the years of counseling, God has been pleased to enable us to help stepfamilies become successful families.
- Grandparenting can never be successful parenting—it is a tough job, but it is not a sentence to doom, as again over the years we have seen grandparents very successfully parent.
Let me conclude with the exhortation to revisit the Scriptures, not looking for “The right way to Parent,” but for the exhortations regarding parenting and the principles laid out in the book of Proverbs. The key to utilizing these exhortations and principles is wisdom in the way we utilize them within the context of loving God and loving our spouses and children. It takes wisdom to implement the exhortations and principles so that we do this with an understanding of each child at any given time. Hence, we are not looking for a formula, but the wise administration of the tools that God has provided, applied to each individual child.