Introduction
People and their differences have always fascinated me. Maybe that all started growing up on a farm. We had chickens of various sorts from Rhode Island Reds to White Leghorns to Bandis and their outsized friendly personalities (at least most of the time). Then, there was my mother and her goats. Google says there are more than 300 distinct breeds of domestic goats. Over the years she has had a variety of them. My favorite was the cows (in would have been horses except Pop would not allow me to have horses—he said, you mother would end up caring for them and they just cost money and give nothing in return but more work). Cows certainly have distinct personalities. Old Red (a red jersey) is a great example.
We had Old Red for several years along with usually five to six other milking cows. When it was time to milk, I’d stand under the overhang of the barn and call, “ho red, ho red” and soon here would come Red and the other cows following her. After milking, we’d turn them out to return to the pasture, but Old Red would just stand there under the overhang. If I did not acknowledge her, her head would begin to drop till her nose was virtually touching the ground, then I’d walk over, curl my arm around her neck, pull up her head and with the other hand rub her face between her eyes. Then I pat her on the rump and say, “go Red” and she would join the other cows in the pasture.
Well, you get the drift of how I trace my fascination with people back to the barn yard zoo in which I grew up. Pam and I have travelled to some eighteen countries, some of the multiple times. We have been again, fascinated with the differences not only with cultures, but with the people. And yet, with all the cultural differences, the differences between the people are just like they are at home. The Lord has made a variety of differences, yet the differences have definite consistency worldwide.
So, What About the Differences
I’ve been privileged to meet with not hundreds, but thousands of couples of the years in premarital and marital counseling. One of the issues that often becomes evident is the “normal” human differences are viewed by the mate-to-be or the mate as irritants. “Why does she need to have the house spotless before we walk out the door to go somewhere? All she does get herself uptight and frustrate me?” Or the wife who complains, “I am always having to wait on him. He thinks he must be everybody’s friend or take care of everybody!” Or, another couple whose courtships was most long distance married and the wife says, “If we had a normal courtship, I would have dumped him. He has no emotion other than anger!”
Personality is a complexity of genes and nature. In a marriage, a person must adapt, adjust, accept and learn to enjoy the differences. The one-anothering prescriptions of Scripture and the attitudinal and proverbial wisdom has been provided by God to enable us to do so.
What About My Own Differences
My wife would describe me as “a steady eddy”. By that she means two things. I don’t hurry and I don’t dawdle either timewise or emotionally. My lifestyle is on curse control at steady 65. She would say I am happy but not excited often. She would say my mind runs at the steady 65 all the time— “You process everything rationally ninety five percent of the time. It’s not that you don’t love deeply, it is just that it is experienced rationally.”
Her descriptions, I would say, are accurate. For example, I watched a football playoff game between Alabama and Auburn. I stood up and cheered one time when an extraordinary play occurred. With AU behind at the closing play, a fellow caught a kickoff ball on the 2- or 3-yard line and just seemed to be coated with grease as he slipped passed one potential tackle and then another to score a touchdown. My normal response to a great play is, “Hey, that dude pulled off a good play,” while I reached for a drink. Then there is my son-in-law and several of his sons who would be analyzing, criticizing, cheering, and often frustrated.
Another observation about differences. Watching our music director, Dr. John Hanes, motivates me to worship as he feels every note and displays it in his actions. On the one hand, I worship and on the other hand I must fight to not envy the way the Lord has made him with that capacity. Like watching that ball game and the extraordinary play, there are rare times when my response to music reaches that level. When it does, it will not be so much from the music as the combination of the music and the theologically progressive unfolding of truth in the lyrics.
Today Was an Extraordinary Day
My reading schedule this morning took me through Luke 20-24. Tracking with Jesus through those last critical days, Peter’s denials even after being warned, then the resurrection and the doubting disciples. Finally, chapter 24 and the brothers on the Emaus walk with Jesus as He open the OT and led them through the prophecies about himself followed by a meal together. When he broke bread there eyes were opened and my eyes were full of tears running down my face with my whole being, obviously emotions and not just rationale, responding to the tragedy and the triumph.
Conclusion of It ALL
I am as fascinated as ever with the difference and marvel at God’s creative genius. I am satisfied being who God made me and just a bit less tempted to envy John. And, while I will join in singing the receptive choruses of the contemporary Christian community, I will ponder no less the abandoning of the rich historic hymnology that so beautifully entwines solid progressive reviewing of truth that enriches and informs the emotions.
Implementation
Embrace the differences between the people around you, even in your family. God complements you, challenges you, and will enrich you through them. Obviously, we don’t accept sin but be slow to impugn the difference remembering that God made them and if everyone were like you (or me) what a boring world this would.
