Mary is a highly trained and decorated 40-year-old investigator for the police force of a major US city. In her position, as you can imagine, if you have watched TV shows like Law & Order or Special Victims Unit. In her early twenties, Mary married Mark, a combat special forces vet who served in the same police department she now works in. At twenty-seven, he was brutely torched and executed by a sex trafficking gang. This tragic loss, Mary would say, “put fire in the belly to put bad people away.”
Since then, she has been shot and wounded and, on another occasion, locked in a wire cage from which she was rescued by her partner after three days. With each experience, Mary doubled down, becoming more determined to tame this wicked world.
In a recent case, she and her partner, along with another team of detectives, took down a ring selling babies, led by a well-known celebrity in horse racing circles. The operation turned ugly, ending in a firefight in which Mary was wounded and in which one of the shots hit and killed an innocent hostage that she did not even know was in her field of fire.
Mary has gone into a “tailspin” and has come to her superiors seeking help. Her question is, “What do I do? Putting bad people is all I want to do, but it seems that I have become one of them.”
Now, most of us have not experienced such horrendous tragedies, but many of us, and many friends, have. Some endured endless bullying in our grammar school and junior high years. Some have experienced several horrific auto accidents and accompanying recuperation times. Some may have witnessed a brutal street fight or been caught up in an unexpected riot.
The reality is that, in a broken world, most people will, sooner or later, endure a tragic event.
It is likely that Mary’s superiors or the police department’s resident doctor will recommend she read Bessel van der Kolk’s book, The Body Keeps the Score, with the promise that it will bring deep understanding to the pain and chaos of the trauma experience(s) and help her make sense of her tailspin. This short blog is not the place to provide a critical review of this book and its thesis. Suffice it to say that serious secular thinkers have found the theoretical framework upon which the thesis depends to be problematic.
Yes, even believers
To complicate our case study, you should know that Mary is a committed evangelical believer who came to the Lord following her husband’s death. She is an active member of a solid church where she attends two services and a women’s Bible study weekly.
So, as her fellow-believer supervisor, what do you tell Mary? First, according to department protocol, you must refer her to the staff doctor. However, you are aware of his Christian commitment, and you and your wife have had a personal relationship for at least 10 years, which began when you were both colleagues as investigators.
How can we help each other
On a personal level, over the next weekend, what biblical approach to her tailspin will you share with her? That is a great question. Let me suggest a few things to assure you that God’s people have had horrific, traumatic events in life, but not only survived them but, in God’s good providence, have subsequently thrived. From there, you could move on to 2 Peter, the first chapter.
Here are some folks’ experiences to survey:
The entire Egyptian army pressing in on you and the people you are leading (Exodus 14:13-14), Moses counseled them, “Do not fear! Stand by and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will accomplish for you today…The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent.”
Read the book of Joshua, and as you do, think not only about the thousands of deaths but also about the massive bodily cleanup job that had to be accomplished.
Read about the Babylonian captivity and imagine being torn from your home and marching to a strange land, culture, and language.
Or read the book of Jonah and being swallowed by the giant fish.
Or read the book of Job.
After leading Mary through this survey, turn to 2 Peter 1. On the way, explain the historical setting. What were these people experiencing? Well, here is the Reader’s Digest version. Rome, the city in which they resided, experienced a devastating fire that destroyed approximately two-thirds of its infrastructure within a 48-hour period. Jobs, businesses, meeting places, and homes are destroyed. This was followed by Empower Nero blaming Christians for the fire and ramping up his persecution.
Read 2 Peter 1:3-4 in which Peter assures them (and Mary and us) that in God’s warehouse (His Word) is everything we need for life and godliness. Then he guides them as to how to handle crises and trauma. In verse five, he says, “Now for this very reason (considering this all-embracing promise, verses 3-4, apply all diligence in (by) your faith supply…. In other words, take what I have made available and draw upon and you will have what you need to handle the crises and traumas.
He does not say, “Here is the magic bullet,” but here is what you use to craft in your own heart and mind (not brain) but use your brain to bring together your mind and God’s promises. Then you can, as it were, get up fortified and able to live in the present, pressing into the future without being mired in the pain, hurt, and sorrow of the tragic events.
Implementation for Mary (and us)
- Choose not to ruminate on the hurt. In bullet points, write down your ruminating thoughts.
- Search the promises and or instructions of God that counter these ruminations.
- Look up the attributes of God and a definition of each one
- Worship by writing a prayer daily that has the following components:
- Thanksgiving to God for all his attributes
- Remembering or rehearsing God’s work on the cross for you and the events of the moments you professed faith.
- List the five most important people in your life and pray for them
- Ask Him to help you quiet your mind
- Ask him to bring someone into your life so that you can help in some way.
- Write a thanksgiving list and each day add at least one new item.