How to Choke Temptation
One of the many realities of life I have learned from experience, books, teachers, counselors, andaspiring lay counselors is that sexual temptation knows no boundaries. This blog was written as a homework handout for counselees caught in the grip of sexual deviation of one kind or another; it may be helpful for anyone who asks the question, “How ought I to walk to please God and do His will?” This process can help to achieve sanctification by abstaining from sexual immorality at any level of intensity (See I Thess 4:1-8).
Read this four-step biblical process and then write a personal plan to implement these steps. Share your plan with a trusted friend and request that they (man-on-man and woman-on-woman hold you accountable.
There is a story of a man who, while sitting against a tree deep in the southern Georgia woods,eating his lunch, was attacked by a wild dog. The dog lunged at him. He managed to get his hands around its neck and choke it to death. Did it happen? It does not matter. It illustrates the point. The best defense against temptation is to choke the life out of it now!
Sexual temptation is like that wild dog. It can come, as it were, out of nowhere. I once had a young man come for counseling who was thoroughly frightened. He was about to ask his girlfriend to marry him when another young woman propositioned him. He initially embraced her and then realized what was happening. He pushed her away and ran from the situation. The Scriptures liken Satan to a roaring lion seeking out whom he can devour (1 Peter 5:8). Paul tells us to flee youthful lusts (2 Timothy 2:22), and James tells us to resist Satan (4:7). My young counselee resisted, though he briefly engaged. Then he fled. That was good! However, it is better to have a plan and, when tempted, to immediately implement it.
1. Run to God
As the dark hour of temptation fell upon Jesus’s disciples, he told them twice to “pray that you may not enter into temptation” (Luke 22:40, 46). He knew the pressure they were about to face, so he reminded them, “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matt. 26:41).
In Pure in Heart, pastor J. Garrett Kell shares his struggles with sexual sin and invites readers to join him in making a lifelong commitment to pursue sexual purity through the power of the gospel.
If Jesus told his disciples to pray before temptation comes, how much more do we need to pray once it arrives? When temptation calls, you must pray! You need divine intervention to deliver you from the venom of the tempter. You do not need elaborate prayers, just desperate prayers delivered in faith. The Scriptures provide an abundance of examples:
“Lord, save me” (Matt. 14:30).
“Lord, help me” (Matt. 15:25).
“Jesus, Master, have mercy” (Luke 17:13).
“O Lord, I pray, deliver my soul!” (Ps. 116:4).
“Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord! / O Lord, hear my voice!” (Ps. 130:1-2).
“Lead [me] not into temptation, / but deliver [me] from evil” (Matt. 6:13).
Lord, you promised not to “let [me] be tempted beyond [my] ability” but to “provide the way of escape” (1 Cor. 10:13—in context 10:1-17). Please show me the escape!
“I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24).
Prayer lifts our eyes off sin’s disorienting offering and places it on Jesus (Heb. 12:2). Through prayer, we “resist the devil” and “draw near to God” (James 4:7-8). Through it, we confess our desire to sin and plead for help to resist it. We ask God to give us the strength to resist the temptation so that sin cannot strike us. When you are tempted, pray to God. He is the one who helps us and will keep us from falling. The Psalmist frames this truth (Ps 46:1): God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble” (NIV). The reality is that there will be difficult times and intense sexual temptation, but God promises to be our refuge.
2. Run from temptation
Joseph was handsome, and his master’s wife couldn’t help but notice. As lust burned in her heart, she offered him an opportunity for a secret affair. But Joseph resisted. He was loyal to his master and, beyond that, said, “How then can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?” Yet her advances continued “day after day” until she finally cornered him alone. She seized him by his garment and said, “Lie with me.” Rather than entertain her offer, “he left his garment in her hand and fled and got out of the house” (Gen. 39:6–12).
Joseph ran because he had no other option. He knew he was too weak to resist temptation. He was alone with his master’s wife. Hence, like the man in the woods, he choked the temptation-not by staying and fighting, but by fleeing. We must do the same. When temptation corners you, don’t flirt with it—flee from it.
Sin wants to convince you that one more click in the search engine, one more minute on the couch with your girl or boyfriend, or one more round of inappropriate conversation is manageable. But entertained temptation is like kryptonite to our sinful flesh. The longer we let it linger, the weaker our resolve becomes.
Thus, Paul told Timothy to “flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness” (2 Tim. 2:22). Do whatever is necessary to escape what tempts you. Close the computer. Delete the app. Turn off the phone. Run outside. Get in the car and drive. Do whatever you need to do to flee the voice of temptation. Paul directed the Corinthians similarly when he wrote, “Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry! (I Cor 10:14).
3. Run to a confidant
Emily felt overwhelmed by the temptation’s onslaught to drink her way through the lonely weekend. Being alone offered so many ways to commit sin. But rather than fight alone, she called a sister from church. She explained how weak she felt and asked for help. Her friend told her to pack a bag and stay with her for the weekend. Emily agreed and avoided Satan’s snare with her friend’s help.
Many times, you cannot fight sin by yourself. God commands us to “but exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin” (Heb. 3:13 NKJV). Sin assures us that asking for help is a weakness, shameful, and unnecessary. But this is just one more lie from Satan, who is “a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).
Sin cannot live in the light. When temptation strikes, reach out to a friend and plead for help. Do not make excuses. Send a text, email, or make a call immediately. Tell your friend that you need help. Say something like, “Would you pray for me? I’m feeling weak toward temptation, and I need your help.”
Sin cannot live in the light. Drag the temptation into the light of fellowship and enlist others for help. If the person you called doesn’t take you seriously, plead more urgently or call someone else. Don’t give in to discouragement. Keep fighting, but don’t fight alone.
4. Run by deploying a Long-term plan
When I was young, we moved to the Ozark Mountains. I had never seen a snake, but now it seemed they were everywhere. My father and I often took walks in the nearby woods. During our first walk, he taught me an important lesson: when you come to a fallen tree on the path, step on it to step over it. He explained that snakes often rest under fallen trees, so if we stepped right over a tree, we might startle the snake and get bitten. But if we stepped on the tree and then over it, we’d create enough distance to evade the strike of most snakes. Even today, this lesson remains a practice for me when I walk along a path in the woods.
Avoiding a snake’s strike once is good. Developing a pattern to prevent these strikes in the future is preferable. We cannot, of course, keep the tempter from tempting. Still, we must develop a plan not to go near his den (Prov. 5:8). Over the years, I have developed an intentional plan to “make no provision for the flesh” and thereby guard my walk with Jesus (Rom. 13:14). For example, I do not meet with a female counselee or a business associate behind windowless closed doors and another female in proximity. Devise a way to accomplish the necessary task to avoid temptation, even the appearance of evil.
Jesus exhorted us to “cut off” whatever might lead us to sin against God (Matt. 5:28–30). I have set up numerous barbed wire-like protections to make acting out sinful desires difficult. I encourage you to grab a friend and develop a similar strategy. The following questions might help you get started.
How are you cultivating hope and delight in Jesus? What joy-stealing sins are you most prone to give in to? If Satan were to tempt you, how might he do it?
• If you were going to access sin, how would you find it?
• How can you dumb down your electronic devices to make sinning in specific ways an impossibility?
• Are there subscriptions you need to cancel? And phone numbers you need to delete?
• Are there accountability subscriptions you should set up?
• When are you most susceptible to temptation? How can you prepare for these times?
• What Scripture passages have you memorized or marked to quickly access in times of temptation?
• What lies are you most prone to believe, and what Scripture passages can you fight them with?
• To whom are you regularly confessing your sins? Who can you call when you are feeling tempted?
This exercise will help you learn to live without regrets.
Conclusion
God rarely touches our lives in such a way that we stop loving sin immediately. But as we fight sin and pursue him, he changes our affections. The more we grow in our conscious love of Jesus, the more we begin to love what he loves and hate what he hates. Our dependence on willpower fades, and our hope focuses on Jesus, who was tempted yet resisted in all the ways we might be tempted (Heb. 4:15).
As you (or a friend you may counsel) begin or continue to fight for the joy of “walking in the light as He is in the light,” remember that sin steals your joy. You will never regret resisting sin. You will always regret giving in to sin. Choke temptation by taking refuge in Jesus and the means of grace he provides, praying to God, obeying the Word of God (fleeing the scene), and community (calling a friend, developing a plan).
Implementation
Reading this blog should hopefully generate a desire to protect yourself from temptation. That is great. However, it is very easy to do, like some students. They audit a class, listen to information, and nod in agreement. However, unlike the credit student who completes the homework and earns the credit, they do not complete the course and earn the credit. The value of the class does not lead to a degree.
Here is how you implement what this “class” has taught you. Sit down with pen and paper. Think through and describe how you are or may be exposed to temptation. Using the four recommendations above, write a plan to practice them as needed.