And Parents Parenting Biblically For the Welfare of the Next Generation
Introduction
I could site two or three counseling cases from an array of about thirty cases spread out over the country through various counselors of my acquaintance. The ten-percentile ratio of those who would see themselves as a victim occurs as a consistent normal. That is, in the span of thirty cases, it would be normal to find that three individuals would be people who perceive themselves as victims of a spouse or friend as a response to what most older generations would have considered an insult to be waved off as that’s John, or Mary and not worth getting upset about. Why is this self-styled victim mentality so common today.
Action needed
In part, this brief article noted in the 1819 News one morning1 is the answer. Emily Jones, wrote, “It’s time for Alabama to put a stop to the hidden agenda of the American School Counselor’s Association.” She continued,
“When you’re forcing kids to constantly think, how do I feel? How do I feel? How do I feel? And if the answer is not always happy, they start internalizing that. Well, why am I not happy? What’s wrong? Did so and so hurt my feelings? Am I not good at this? And they just start beating themselves up. And then they just get to a point of, well, I’m completely unhappy. I’m miserable. Life’s not worth living. And then you go down this road of anxiety, depression, suicidal tendencies because we’re constantly making kids focus on how they feel,” she added. “It’s sick.”
My observation
The result of this teaching is the raising of kids who are wimps. They don’t learn how to live in a fallen world without becoming self-designated victims. They don’t learn how to deflect the intentional and unintentional verbal jabs or the vacillation of friendships that are so much a part of living in the reality of the world. As a result, children become impaired adults obsessed with their feelings and their self-described (and to a growing extent) mental health. We end up creating young adults who have become dependent upon big pharma and the long-term clients of mental health providers.
The Correction
Think for a moment about Charles, Meriam, Corky, Andrew. Charles grew up in a family with two brothers of which he was the youngest. The boys were two years apart. As they grew up. Andrew was the number three brother following Miriam. They were typical brothers who were competitive and often rough housed. Their sister, Miriam, was in the pack. She played soccer with her brothers; she also hunted with her brothers and Dad.
She was able to walk away from toxic remarks and slights of people and recognize it is not them, but the person who made the comment or did the slighting.
Case Study
This family fit the picture of a loving home which taught the basic Christian principles by modeling and instruction. Good natured Jesting, kidding, teasing was everyday life. Acknowledging anger and inappropriate behaviors were occasions for learn to accept confrontation, take responsibility, seek forgiveness and grant forgiveness leading to reconciliation.
Samuel was raised as an only child. His mother had a degree in child development earned in the late 190s to early 2000s. Self-esteem was the theme of her education. Thus, Samuel was raised by an overprotective mother and a dad who went along to keep mamma happy.
Sam married into this family of these four siblings. Since he and Miriam met in college halfway across the country, there was little exchange with each other’s families. But, after marriage they moved close to her family for the sake of an outstanding job opportunity. It was not long before Sam left a family Sunday dinner abruptly and unexpectedly. When Miriam excused herself and joined Sam, he was angry and scream, “Your blank brother can go to blank. I’m done with them!” Miriam was baffled as she had experienced the verbally jesting of dinner time as normal. Sam did not. He was wounded and felt like the victim.
Sam’s parents had not prepared him for living in the everyday world. In fact, he had been trained to faulter in the real world. Emily Jones is making the point that public school counselors need to not coddle kids and need not teach kids how not to understand the real world and therefore see themselves as victims resulting in becoming anxious, depressed, or even bitter towards others.
While school counselors are not allowed to teach these universal principles in their native Christian context, they are allowed to teach the theories and cultural constructs as “truth.” Hence, causing harm by preventing students from learning the universal principles.
Conclusion and Implementation
It is time to restrain this nonsense. The cry of Jones is on target. We need to be fostering young men and women of character to produce the next generation of adults who have both learned how to respect one another and the capacity of soul to deflect insults and demeaning behavior of peers and who can choose to not become and self-designate as victims.
1 1819 The week of November 16, 2024.